Monday, September 03, 2012

Learning to See With BS Goggles

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here, and I'm remiss in that. Tonight I had to rectify that. A family member and good friend sent me a message that triggered this response. I won't go into his situation, but I do feel for what he's going through and I've been through it... big time. Anyway, here's an edited version of what I told him. 


This may be a hard lesson, but no place is a safe place, a haven, except what you make it. It's a cliche that home is where the heart is, but it's true. The family you make is that haven. Cherish your wife. Cherish her dearly and give up everything you are for her if needed. She is your haven.

All others will fail you. Your parents will fail you. I know I will fail you terribly. I know me. I get too self-absorbed to be any kind of haven for anyone but my wife, and only for her when life kicks me in the balls and reminds me that that's my job in regards to her.

Sometimes a broken spirit is the best place to be because it's a first step in a new direction, a day one on a new way of seeing the world. Perhaps a harsher, more jaded way of seeing, but a new way of coping and seeing and living more abundantly nonetheless.

Turn to God in this time and lean on him. Even when the church is pure and utter bullshit, God will never be. He is beginning and end the same. The church is only a failing bride who sleeps around. The Bible teaches us that over and over. It will also fail you. But God won't ever. Ever. Period.

Think of this time as a time of God giving you a new pair of bullshit goggles that will enable you to see through the dirty rags that masquerade as virgin gowns and through the whitewashed tombs trying to pass themselves off as holy Pharisees.

Learn to live in the bullshit, but to see beyond it. Learn live with the smell but seek to be a better fragrance with each step you take.

It's why I think hitting the jaded and cynical point in your life can be a good thing. We learn to deny the sugar-coated bullshit and see it for what it is, and learn to love people and extend grace to them (even those in the church) in spite of the way they smell.

Hang in there, buddy. It gets worse, but it makes us better.